I have been MIA on here for a while.  To all of you who have written to say howdy and how are you…THANK YOU!! I have had a very slow winter at work and in the last week it has really picked up and been busier.  Every time I think I am going to have a few minutes to blog, life interrupts.  I am currently without my Jeep as it is getting repaired and since I am at work and the day is over and I am waiting for SIR to give me a ride home I have time to write.  I have started an offline journal as well and have been writing in it so I have not felt the need to write here quite so much, but in addition to doing that I have also been going to yoga and exercising with a trainer two days a week.  So three of the 5 work days are extremely busy right now for me.  I work 10 hour days and then go to yoga or exercise for an hour…and get home just in time to crash for the evening.  Working in an office can be a very sedentary job.  Since SIR and I love to SCUBA dive while we are on vacation, this year I wanted to be in better shape so that I can enjoy more of my vacation instead of being too out of shape or tired to do more dives.  I think SIR and I are going alone this next upcoming vacations VS the last one where we took darling daughter and she was bored silly with the things we wanted to do….and she was whiny and petulant when we did not do what she wanted us to do..      What do you expect of a 16 year old in a foreign country….?  I had really hoped that this year one of her friends could go with us to help keep her entertained…it is boring when you are the only one…and no other siblings are there to hang with.  She has the unlucky misfortune of being the youngest and everyone else is now grown and gone.  She has always been the one to hang with SIR and I when we go camping, and other fun stuff….we just figured that in a tropical location…it would be like camping…only hotter.  LOL….NOT  She evidently is scared of fish….something about fish biting her toes when she went to the beach with her step mother once…  Snorkeling with her was a disaster.  She would see a fish…and freak out.  She swims beautifully, and has always loved the water…now we know….POOL WATER is the safe place for her to be….otherwise she wants to drown whomever may be near her should she see a fish.  AAHHHHHHHHHHHH all the talk about vacation…..makes me want to go on one.  I was explaining earlier why I am trying so hard to exercise….SCUBA….thats the key.  Being more fit to dive well.  LOL  and look good for SIR. 

Things are going well with SIR and I …sort of.  We had a major setback and then worked past it.  I think.  LOL… at least it feels like we have.  We hosted a brunch with a local group a little while ago and it went ok. We had volunteered to host it at our home but I had asked that the group founders continue to the the discussion host…I still feel too new to have a TOPIC of discussion and try and keep the flow of communication going.  Not enough experience.  Anyway it was fun, but the usual host was not feeling well and the person who suggested the topic did not show…so we discussed allot of different things…not all of them BDSM or D/s , M/s in nature.  Everyone brought a pot luck brunch dish and we all ate well and enjoyed the company.  That was the best part.  Getting to meet others who are like minded. 

I have no idea when my Jeep will be ready.  I miss it…I miss the freedom to go get into my car and go home when the work day is over…LOL.  Its dark outside….

So in a nutshell for those who have been wondering.  I am ok….I am physically ok from the accident.  The Jeep is getting fixed,  I am busy at work which is a true blessing since so many are not working right now due to the economy where we live….I am exercising two days a week and going to yoga once a week…. and I am dreaming of our next diving destination for vacation. 

I was involved in my first car accident almost 8 years ago.  I was stopped at a red light waiting to turn left.  The light turned green and everyone ahead of me, and myself started to move forward to make our turn.  Out of the blue a car REAR ENDED me.  Evidently all he had seen as he approached the intersection was a green left arrow light and cars moving, not realizing we were all just starting to move, he did not slow his speed at all and BAMMM!! he hit the back of my car.  I lost 6 months of my life to that car accident and the injuries involved.  Since that time I have been hit from behind two other times, and I have had someone run a stop light and hit me as I was making a left turn.  Last week I was heading to a meeting, and due to police vehicles stopping traffic to go thru the intersection….I again was stopped, and was rear ended by a driver who had not been paying attention and had not left himself room to stop.  When my ears quit ringing…. I called 911 to report the accident. Two other police cars passed us going towards where the other two who came thru the intersection, they however did not stop at our accident. The other driver of the vehicle wanted to know…since they caused the accident…are they going to pay for my car to get repaired.  I calmly explained to him, (something he should have learned in drivers education) that he is responsible for controlling his car.  He is supposed to take adequate care to leave enough room between his car and any other car so that he is in control of HIS vehicle at all times.  The reason he hit me was because he had not been doing that.  Had he been following farther behind, or paying attention he would not have hit me.   We waited 30 minutes before the police arrived to take a report. I found out after the officer arrived to take our report that the reason the police had gone through the intersection without sirens is because there was a robbery in progress just a block away from where we were, and they had not wanted to alert them that they were close by in using their sirens.  That also explained why after we had called 911 to report the accident that two other police did not stop at the accident, but kept on going the direction the first two cars went in.   After they took the report and gave us all of the information to exchange we were free to go.  I had called SIR after 911 to let him know of the accident and to let him know I was shaken up, but thought I was ok.  No I did not want him to take off of work to come to where I was, I was OK.  Sometime before I was done filling out all my paperwork there was a knock on the window of my car where I was sitting writing.  I assumed it was the police officer asking a question.  NOPE it was SIR.  He wanted to make sure I really was ok and to check things out himself.  He took the report the officer gave me and let me know that he would take care of contacting the other drivers insurance and ours.  He also wanted to follow me back to work since I really wanted to be there at work instead of at home not doing anything and going over the accident in my head repeatedly.  (I had a BAD panic attack the last time I was stopped at a red light and was rear ended, and thought of it still can make me jittery and prone to a panic attack.  My thought was I was better off working, keeping my mind busy.)  SIR asked what I needed, and I said for him to follow me.  I felt much safer knowing that his vehicle was following me, and not someone else who might hit me.  (I know that sounds insane, but that is exactly what I was feeling at the time.)  I got back to my office in one piece, and it only took 2 times to get the seat belt undone, and door opened.  GEES I was jittery.  I am glad that I had SIR follow me back to my office instead of just letting him drive me, and leaving my car parked.  I would have had to drive it home sometime that night anyway, and I figured the best thing was to get right back up on that horse that threw me, and try it again.  (After the accident where I did not walk well for 6 month, I could barely get in a car to ride, much less drive. ) When I walked in, my boss jokingly said, ” What?????? Do you have a target on your ass??????????  I have worked for him since I was released from medical care from the first accident, and he knows all about the other 3 (now 4) accidents where I was doing nothing wrong, and have been hit.  Twice it has been from uninsured motorist. Oh they have the card in the car to give the officer should they ask for it, but when you call their agent…no I am sorry Jane Doe has not had coverage since November when they quit paying on their policy.  UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGG.  Now I want to smack someone.  Anyway SIR is co-ordinating the adjustors so they can look at the damage, and such, and I …well I am left wondering what the odds are of this happening to one person in such a short time-span.  I mean it sure seems like the odds are against one person being hit that many times….doesn’t it?  Should I be playing the lotto??????? Yes, I said a prayer of thanks it was not worse. 

I have had the pleasure of jury duty recently.  Out of 350 potential jurors for 7 trials to start of that particular day, I was picked as a potential juror for the 7th Trial at 1:15 PM .  Mind you they have you show up at 8:30 am to start the process. I don’t know about you, but sitting in those chairs, for that many hours….SUCKS.  So at 1:15 they march us to the bank of elevators and tell us what floor we are going to, and what courtroom to wait outside of. When all 35 of us get to the correct area, the court clerk comes out and she says that she will call our names in a particular order and to stay lined up in that order.  She then proceeds to have us sit in a particular seat.  The randomness of jury duty is truly random…only to a point however.  The judge and lawyers can excuse anyone they need to for cause, meaning they have to meet certain requirements.  You have to be 18, you have to be a US citizen, you have to live in the city or county for where you are called to serve and more things like that, are you able to sit thru the day to hear testimony, can you understand, read and write English? The judge starts out the jury selection process by asking 8 or so questions, your name, your age, what education you have, where are you employed, are you married, do you have children, the ages of your children, and if they are grown, where they work.  Where is your spouse employed, what kind of music do you listen to, what do you read, what do you watch on TV.  The other questions have to do with your history with the law, do you know any police officers, can you be a fair and impartial juror? Do you know the judge, the lawyers, the defendant or any of the witnesses in the case you are about to hear? So once he has started with the original seated 13 people in the jury box, who answer those questions, he continues to the rest of the 35 in the room.  One by one we each have to answer the questions he poses to us.  Then it is the lawyers turn.  They each get 45 minutes to ask anything they need to to get a feel for you, and how you might deliver a verdict.  The D.A. started first, then the defendants lawyer.  Once that is all said and done then the jury is picked.  Keeping in mind it is like a big mental chess game.  Each of the lawyers and judge, and court clerk have a seating chart.  All through the question and answer sessions, they were making notes on it, about some of the jurors (all of the jurors).  Each side, the defense and prosecutor have 6 choices to decline people they want on the jury.  So to make it clear as possible I have done 3 diagrams for the puzzle (becoming a juror) you are about to see.  This is the beginning please note that I just used names alphabetically starting with juror #1 thru #35 except for me.  This is a clear and accurate description of how I almost became JUROR #2 and would have been required to serve for the remainder of the trial.  The trial was supposed to take 4 days.  OMG I was NOT looking forward to being picked. Then my next thought was, well at least it sounds like it will be an interesting case.  

  

 So if you are able to see from the diagram, mickimichele was listed as Juror #31 of the original jury pool.  The next diagram shows X’s in different colors and below the original seat numbers, are the new seat (juror numbers ) that they become and beside names, different numbers showing the same thing as well.  What they represent is the people who were given strikes by the lawyers or the judge.  The ones that happened due to cause are in RED.  They left the courtroom before the lawyers even got started.  The next jurors in line automatically get moved into those slots.  So since seat 6 & 7 were vacated, jurors #14 and 15 become juror numbers 6 & 7. (Number 6 was hard to see because one of the lawyers later gave hime a stike and the number was crossed out.)  As each lawyer is given a turn to excuse someone, the next available juror becomes that vacated number.  How mickimichele almost became Juror #2 is because the judge went to the end of the row with juror #25 and started at the beginning of the next row…ME.  He however was corrected by the clerk after just a few minutes while the lawyer was looking over his notes on who he wanted to excuse.  The judge said excuse me, I made an error Juror # 2 should have been Zahara not mickimichele, I was at the wrong end of the row. 

As you can see from the diagram, the way they had us seated was screwy…odd…strange. 

 

When it was all said and done, the diagram below show how it ended up.  These are the jurors as they were left after all of the pre-emptive stikes.  Odd how random, but not so random it can be.  If one of the lawyers wanted to be sure they had certain persons on the jury, it is possible to excuse someone, so that the next person in line gets a seat.  The threat however is that the opposing lawyer may not want that person, and strike them after they have been given a seat.  (They did not make us play musical chairs however until it was all said and done.  The judge had one person at a time switch seats.  Then the remainder of us were free to leave.  At 4:45 PM….. it was a long day.  I felt for the jurors who were actually seated and would listen, they were going to be there for at least another 3 to 4 days for testimony etc.  I sure hope the seats they were sitting in were better than the ones we were in.  The did look more comfy and had a higher back.  Before someone asks me this….the B  B  are for the two bailiffs that were in the court and that is where they were seated. 

I have been called to jury duty before, but was released before I had made it this far.  I was pretty amazed at how it all pans out when it is said and done.  I love John Grisham novels and one of the novels goes over this….but it did not make sense truly to me until I had been in there and been a part of it.  (To all of you legal folks out there, you must be chuckling at my amazement, because you see this on a daily basis.  It is interesting…. so at least for the next 12 months….I wont be serving jury duty.  I have done my time. ) The question was asked when all 350 of us were down in the jury pool selection room, how are jurors selected….In our county they use Drivers License, property records, and voter records to get the jury pool names.  IF you never want to serve, in our county, DONT DRIVE, DONT OWN PROERTY, DONT VOTE!!!.  LOL

I have no idea where you are, but that’s what they told us about our county.  One guy said he has served each year for 7 years, the jury commissioner told him he should be playing the lotto, because he is way above the average that any one person should have to serve in our county, in a lifetime.  LOL.

If you don’t get it….. e-mail me….its a cool puzzle to figure out. 

Sir and I are like every other couple on the planet.  We disagree, way less than we used to with very little power struggle the way we USED to, but life still throws you a curve every now and again especially when kids are involved.  The biggest issues has always been kid issues.  One of us thinks things should happen one way, and the other has a totally different opinion. 

I personally think it is more of a mom vs dad thing in how we look at the big picture of kid issues.  I have a dear friend, who has been married for 20 years this past Christmas.  She and her husband have 3 children and she has the same type of dynamics that go on in my house hold with regards to things about the kids.  You would think that because SIR and I have almost all of ours grown and gone, the issues would be less. NOPE as long as there is at least one child at home, there are still issues.  Keeping in mind that SIR inherited a ready made family, you would think that there would be more  differences in how things are done and more disagreements with a blended than a family that has had the same children and parents all along.  NOPE its about even.  That is why I personally think it is a mom thing vs a dad thing.  We just see things differently. 

Sir and I were going to go to a play party on Saturday night, I had gotten my bath, and was in the process of doing my hair when darling daughter let me know that friend M was still at the house.  She had asked earlier in the afternoon if friend M could come over to say hi because they were in the area. ( my understanding was just that, drop by to say hi, so was my daughters.)  Friend M’s family had moved from our neck of the woods, and I said sure she can stop by to say hi.  Little did I know that friend M was still there until they asked if she could spend the night.  Darling daughter knew SIR and I were going out we had been planning it all week.  SIR had me RSVP. 

 She says now that she really did not want friend M to stay over, but the MOM of friend M just decided to drop her daughter at our house, and went to a party where the daughter could not attend.  She would be back in 3 hours or so.  ….HUH???????? What kind of parent just drops a child off at another house without checking with the parents to see if that is OK??????? Stopping by to say hello is not leaving your kid somewhere for 3 hours while you go out. 

Well my thought at the time my daughter let me know was….ok I guess. Friend M is pretty normal, no issues that I knew of (other than a mother who is very inconsiderate not to check to see if we had plans.) I figured since we were not going out of town and would be home in a few hours, no harm no foul they could just hang out and watch TV while SIR and I went out.   They are not little kids, they are 16 after all.  (Not driving yet though.) I said let me check to see what SIR thinks, and that’s where it got very very sticky.   We had in the past gone out on date night, when one child had a sleep over, no big deal.  The issue becomes, there are no other children to chaperon darling daughter and her friend. (In the past we had two other children who were 6 years older than daughter, and 3 years older, and as her brothers, they would usually curtail any trouble.    She is 16 now after all and  I did not think it was a big deal for us to go out for a few hours, SIR on the other hand figures that more than enough reason NOT to leave them home alone because there are two of them and that means two brains to think up things to do to get into trouble.  We also have had a standing rule for years in place about sleep overs with kids friends, there must be (at least) 24 hours notice from request of a sleepover, until the event. 

Anyway we had a minor disagreement, I did not totally blow up, and thought that I had a valid point.  SIR however basically said we would not be attending the play party due to my attitude so we did not go. (Friend M called her father to come and get her, since her mother was unavailable, who knows where she really was.) 

 Anyway once a month on Sunday is a Brunch meeting for our local group.  It is open to anyone who is interested in the lifestyle and Power Exchange relationships.  It is very vanilla in dress and such and we share and visit and meet new people.  We did get to attend.  (I had asked SIR what he was going to say when we were asked why we had RSVP’d and not shown up….LOL)  I love seeing our friends, I enjoy watching them play, and interacting with them, learning from them, I KNEW we were gonna get asked what happened.  SIR was very matter of fact with everyone who asked.  Most all had experience with the same types of issues.  Family crisis’s, fights, etc.  Everyone was very understanding.  The last thing you want to take to a play party is bad energy, and when you have had a disagreement, bad energy is definitely there.  I would have to say, I did not even agree with SIR on Sunday still regarding the sleepover issue, but I did agree that it was his call to make the choice NOT to go.  (I however at one brief point after he said he would not be going, thought of picking my little happy ass up, and finishing getting ready and going by myself just to say hi and pay my respects….but then I decided that as SIR’s slave, that would NOT have gone over well.  LOL  actually that is an understatement to the nth degree!!!!

So in a hindsight point of view I learned a lesson.  A good lesson, and it was actually easier done than I would have expected.  First instinct was to do my own thing…reality was I wanted to follow SIR’s instructions  It was not as hard as I would have imagined.

Later had SIR spoken to me, or given me an order or/request…something I would have known he was not upset….just that it was over I would have been ok and not spent the morning worrying that we were going to have a bad day as well.  (He did not say anything at all Saturday evening after he said we were not going to the play party.)

Even though I did not agree with him on the reasons, and darling daughters friend M had gone home, enough of a power struggle had ensued that I understood why he said we were not going.  I was not happy about not getting to go, but it seemed more important to just be…and let it go than to push it further.  The last thing I wanted was a power struggle.  That was what I wanted to change so long ago.  SIR to be in charge, me to follow.  However, when it comes to putting children in the mix, the roles of mom and dad tend to blur the lines of who is in charge.  (I was a single mom after my divorce, before I met SIR and made ALL decisions, and SIR had no children so a lot of time, he deferred, just because he had no input or background on how to in the beginning.)

I also think kids in general tend to go to mom, because sometimes we are easier.  Not always, mind you, but with certain battles, moms are easier.  The dear friend I was speaking of for example, called me early on Sunday am before we left for brunch  because they were coming to our house for supper and bringing her family.  Our oldest kids (and granddaughter) were coming and all of their family were coming and we had not been together as a group in a few years, and we used to spend a lot of time with the 10 of us together.  She called to say ” hey by the way, let (SIR) know that he cannot mention that S got another speeding ticket when we come over today, her husband did not know yet.   So I know I am not the only mom who gets stuck some times between a rock and a hard place when it comes to spouses and children.  Whether it be step parent, natural parents etc, there are still issues where as a mom you think one way, and dads think another.  I know that life will be much calmer and dull once darling daughter is grown.  I also know that I WILL NOT MISS the issues at all.  I might miss her, but not the crap that goes along with being a parent sometimes.  I have said over and over and over, if you started off with a 16 or 17 year old…you might not ever have children.  Babies are wonderful….toddlers are cute, but trying….and young children seem a blessing…. that is the key…when they get to be teenagers….they struggle so with issues they have to deal with….thats when you remember how cute, and fun and sweet they were….thats what keeps you going. You remember that 3 year old, and the funny little things they did…and then when they act like shits….as teens…. you remember who they were….and that in time (if you don’t kill them first) that they will grow up, and life will be normal again…and eventually if you are lucky they will have children.  Then you can say, I hope you have 3 just like you….and they will understand what you went through.  They don’ come with instruction books, we do the best we can. 

The most interesting thing I think I heard my 22 year old say once….wow, your life IS interesting.  (IF he only knew …LOL)

To him 40 is ancient. LOL…… I am happy where I am in my life.  I would not want to be 22 again for anything. 

Today for some reason, I really want to be diving.  Of course I live in the most land locked state there is…LOL, and per capita we have the most divers of any others state.  I keep getting e-mails from Dive magazines, and the real magazines, and SIR and I saw a cofee table book on REEFS the other day…I guess that is why I am missing the ocean and diving so much now.  I love scuba diving.  I have always loved the water, the ocean especially.  When we were very very small we used to go to the ocean for a whole week every summer.  We stayed with my dads brother who lived on the beach.  I thought my cousins were the luckiest boys around.  When my uncle moved back to our neck of the woods, those days were over. 

My earliest memories are of swimming lesson, I must have been about 3, Baby Sister S was 18 months.  I remember knowing that after I swam across the short side of the pool I was going to get SUGAR BABIES…LOL .  I dog paddled everywhere.  Mom was never too worried about us, they taught us how to float and such first so that we liked the water, and were calm it in.  I remember very clearly at about 5 really freaking my mom out, cause I liked to float face down.  I liked feeling the water and hearing the water and being in that other world that was wet, and cool.  I would turn my head very carefully, while floating, and get a breath, calmly…barely moving, seeing how long I could float and just relax…LOL  After a while my mom would freak out because I was just floating there, and because I could not hear her because my head was under water, she would  have to get wet and get me….of course she was mad cause she got wet, and I was mad cause she made me get out of the pool. 

I still float really well I love nothing beter than to just float face up and watch the stars at night when we are in a tropical location or in the hot tub, with the jets off. 

SIR and I hold hand when we are diving, not all the time mind you, but its nice when we do.  I spend alot of out time diving laughing around my regulator and pointing. Happy, giddy, excited….did you see that?….and that?  and that?…while pointing to things I want to show SIR.  It is a whole other world down there.  Beautiful, serene, interesting. I am daydreaming of turtles, and angel fish, and swimming with SIR 70′ below the waves hand and hand.